Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween Jokes - Happy Halloween!


Halloween Jokes 

What does a hungry ghost want?
Ice scream!

What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!

What was written on the hypochondriac's tombstone?
"I told you I was ill"!

Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?
Because he wasn't very hungry.

What do monsters call human beings?
Breakfast, lunch and dinner!

How do you make a witch itch?
Take away her w!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he had no guts!

What runs around a cemetery but doesn't move?
A fence!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!

What does a witch ask for when she goes to a hotel?
Broom service!

Where do ghosts pick up their mail?
At the ghost office!

What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock ?
He got ticks !

Why are graveyards so noisy ?
Because of all the coffin !

Why did the witch travel on a broom?
She couldn't afford a Vacuum Cleaner.

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend!

What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street?
Buckle your sheet belt!


Why do you always find ghouls and demons together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?
A plumpkin!

What did one vampire say to the other?
Fangs aren't what they used to be!

What do you call a vampire that’s always feeling peckish?
Snackula!

When do werewolves go trick or treating?
Howl-oween!

What should a short-sighted ghost have?
Spooktacles!

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in people?

What do you call an angry monster?
Sir!

Why is Dracula so unpopular?
Because he’s a pain in the neck!

Why did the skeleton go the party?
For a rattling good time!

Who has webbed feet and fangs?
Count Quackula!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?

Thumping.

Thumping who?

Thumping green and scary just crawled up your trousers!
Who comes out at night and goes “Munch, munch, ouch!”
A vampire with a rotten tooth!

How do monsters count to 13?
On their fingers!



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